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The Knowledge of Good and Evil

by Earnest Matthew

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1.
Anthem 04:48
brother, i’m reluctant now to bleed these songs sister, i’ve been careless with my pen lover, i’ve been wrong to let you lie alone and burn so long and it appears that mere sincerity is anemic in the end so here i am as empty as i love to be again with nothing to distract me from the wages of my sin but at the window pane’s a raging flame a clear and coursing wind a solid sort of prajna the kind that one can live within so sing with me a simple song of peace written an eternity ago and let your worries be we shall be released by losing to the love that will not let us go speak to me of others who have sought the light only to find their eyes behind their hands then elucidate to me the grace that burns the shutter from the face leaving piles of ashes in the place of best laid plans now the conqueror would kill the truth he claims to seek with glee while the diplomat may try to hide the burning light from me and the politician will fill our hands and swear to god we’re free as neither the orphan, nor the wealthy man find a god in which they can believe so sing with me a simple song of peace written an eternity ago and let your worries be we shall be released by losing to the love that will not let us go so god grant us the grace to give without reclaiming to love without withholding anything and may our lifetimes prove to be mere canvas for the painting bearing nothing more than the brushstrokes we’re carrying so sing with me a simple song of peace written an eternity ago and let your worries be we shall be released by losing to the love that will not let us go
2.
when my daddy drives on the highway it looks like the car ahead is towing him and though lord knows i’ve tried to remind her my sweet mother never buckles in it’s a miracle i’m even here at all all my best friends can throw back a good seven pints a day and half the time you can bet that i’ll join in but i never seem to regret it cause i sure love the time i spend with them but it’s a miracle we’re even here at all so lead us ageless jesus to the places we’re likeliest to fall cause it’s a miracle we’re even here at all oh my lover well, she takes her chances by choosing a man who loses when he wins but the warmth of summer somehow always dances in her eyes as she forgives again again and yet again oh it’s a miracle we’re even here at all how i long to write the songs of ages but every worthwhile thing i could sing’s been sung before so i’m left here just seeking out the sages sketching scenes of freedom on these well-worn prison doors well it’s a miracle i’m even here at all so lead us ageless jesus to the places we’re likeliest to fall so lead us ageless jesus to the places we’re likeliest to fall cause it’s a miracle it’s a miracle it’s a miracle we’re even here at all
3.
so i’ve noticed that you’re talking like you know something like i could learn a thing or two from you and i’m happy to listen i’m prepared to be enlightened always in the mood for a little truth but the words you say they don’t resonate like smoke rings in the night they fly away so i’ve noticed that you’re pleased by your own expertise like it’s my privilege to be sitting here with you and i wonder what it would take to make you stop and take a break to make you see what you’re putting people through cause the words you say they don’t resonate like smoke rings in the night they fly away and while you’ve won some kind of battle brother, you’re losing this fight taking hits off your bible getting high on being right have you noticed that i agree or are you too busy to recognize the brother in front of you? guess i’ll sit here and i’ll wait for you to pass that joint my way something i’m somehow sure you ain’t gonna do cause the words you say they don’t resonate like smoke rings in the night they fly away and while you’ve won some kind of battle brother, you’re losing this fight taking hits off your bible getting high on being right and the words you say they don’t resonate like smoke rings in the night they fly away like smoke rings in the night they fly away
4.
The Lesson 05:05
“hark,” he said, “someone approaches!” as he leaned his aged ear into the wind and i, being young, so young and so reckless i turned my head and disregarded him what are you gonna say to a young man who’s gonna have his way when the only plan he has is just to fake it? and what are you gonna do when his telegram comes through and he finds that he ain’t man enough to take it? for while pride may disagree the truth is gonna set you free but you gotta let it “see,” said I, “there’s no-one beside us - there are countless things a man can never truly know” i turned to find my old guide lying lifeless and i never saw the blow that laid me low how do you warn the damned in terms that they can understand that the end is nigh, but might yet be averted? and how do we see the flame caring only that we know it’s name must we burn to learn we should be disconcerted? for while pride may disagree the truth is gonna set you free but you gotta let it must the body turn to dust before a mortal soul learns how to trust must my mirror always be my own blood glistening for face-down in the fertile ground is where my first taste of grace was found where i finally learned that life is for the listening for while pride may disagree oh the truth is gonna set you free but you gotta let it
5.
momma, your baby’s on the roof momma, your baby’s on the roof momma, your baby’s on the roof and the wind’s a pickin’ up out there a storm’s a comin’ soon jailer, your captive’s on the loose jailer, your captive’s on the loose jailer, your captive’s on the loose and you’d best be after him before your master’s after you i am the rug beneath your feet i am prophet, priest, and king i am the comfort of the least of these but i am nothing to you if not everything you need lender, your greed’s a growin’ teeth lender, your greed’s a growin’ teeth lender, your greed’s a growin’ teeth and you’d best release it soon or you may never be released libertine, your freedom ain’t for real libertine, your freedom ain’t for real libertine, your freedom ain’t for real for after every good time you find you find it harder yet to feel i am the rug beneath your feet i am prophet, priest, and king i am the comfort of the least of these but i am nothing to you if not everything you need shepherd, your flock is standing still shepherd, your flock is standing still shepherd, your flock is standing still why you in the wilderness when there’s a pasture o’er the hill?
6.
i try to get a grip on the marble wall hardly a couple of feet to fall i can’t see the top at all not even sure it matters voices above claim to know what’s best that i’ve no choice but to hound the rest my heart burns, churns inside my chest will to live in tatters mister, please don’t make me go it’s just a dog and pony show everyone sees but no-one knows that there’s blood upon the ladder i fall from the wall and come undone in shame and despair to the ladder run i lay a broken foot on the bottom-most rung and listen awhile to the chatter i found that whores hate all that love that they make that identity’s found in the treasure you take strength is weighed by the pledges you break and your friends are the ones you flatter mister, please don’t make me go there’s a world of souls who’ve gotta know that there’s more to them than all they own and there’s blood upon the ladder impact muffled by the masses din another body, another limb plummets and breaks, no-one noticing as the failure strikes and splatters or if they see, they simply shrug give the bleeding heel above a tug as they pop another prescription drug and fuss about feeling fatter mister, please don’t make me go never once have i wanted to live in rome but it seems to have followed us all the way home and there’s blood upon the ladder fumes of our fealty fill the air we’re straining to breath as our wing-and-a-prayer lifestyles curb our grand affairs with acid pitter-patter and it looks like a maudlin totem pole like a host of ants in a sugar bowl as we devour the poor, the weak, the old whose bones at the base lie scattered mister, please don’t make me go would you damn the last free brook to flow we’ll burn till we’re bone dry below cause there’s blood upon the ladder hoarsely i cry, can none of you see? you’re damned if you climb, damned if you flee but i’ll be damned, love, if i’m not free before we see the end of the matter so pass me the pixie dust and the wine the pain’s gonna teach me to fly in time the holy ghost has sworn to renew my mind to make a dancer of the cadaver mister, please don’t make me go the rage of your slaves’ll be the least of your woes as a river of righteous wrath overflows cause god knows you know that there’s blood upon the ladder
7.
The Ember 05:42
i am a desecrated man i ought to know cause i was the one who chose to be and i’ve walked oh lord knows i’ve talked in circles oh these circles gonna be the death of me so i look up and down the bar for a sympathetic tune ain’t a soul around but the old barkeep and me and you i slide from my seat and go down singing is there an ember that won’t burn out? does it whisper through years of pain, and unrequited doubt? is the burning flame you fled the same that you can’t do without? are you haunted by the ember that won’t burn out? i’ve tried to let life pass me by killing time like it don’t mean a thing to me but i’ve found that for all my fallow ground the seeds i’d sown all those years ago ain’t through with me so i roam from town to town just trying to lose my place claiming that i’m searching for just one honest face then i find one and i flee, singing is there an ember that won’t burn out? does it whisper through years of pain, and unrequited doubt? is the burning flame you fled the same that you can’t do without? are you haunted by the ember that won’t burn out?
8.
Suchness 04:29
i think i’ve found a reason to build my life upon i say it fast, like famous last words turn around, and the life i’d found is gone so the world is what i say it is until i turn out wrong and scattered in the wreckage as it’s been a thousand times before are the pieces i’d so carefully assembled multiplied, and polarized once more so the world is what i say it is a game of wits it seems to which i’ll never know the score so i cry into the darkness as the scattered fragments of my mind oh they wheel above my consciousness just like birds of prey crying oh my god, how dare you strike me blind so the world is what i say it is i’m a thinking man and i’ll be damned if i’ll be undermined but wait the dawn is breaking without the aid of words and the grace of ages will go on burning up the sky whether or not i am heard whether or not i am heard
9.
well i’ve kicked against convention till i’ve bled right through my shoes shook my fist against tradition like i ain’t got a thing to lose and i’ve made believe i’m jesus christ made believe i’m damned and i’ve made those near and dearest think i’m stronger than i am but i ain’t gonna let no stone ain’t gonna let no stone ain’t gonna let no stone cry out in my place well i’ve seen the wicked worship and i’ve seen the righteous fall seen the mighty crumble from the struggle of it all oh but i’ve seen the slave delivered and i’ve felt them mountains move and i’ve seen the nations tremble when just one man lives the truth but i ain’t gonna let no stone ain’t gonna let no stone ain’t gonna let no stone cry out in my place some say you’re a tyrant some would swear you’re dead some say every lie they speak are words that you once said though i know better now than to listen oh lord, sometimes i do oh but i’m a dead man walking if i don’t walk with you so i ain’t gonna let no stone ain’t gonna let no stone ain’t gonna let no stone cry out in my place
10.
Elegy 04:31
we started out in mayberry just to wind up reading pravda and we cannot seem to trace the link between the two in a love affair with maybelline and machines that live on gasoline and every great or foolish thing that famous people do could it be we’ve lost ourselves could it be we’re only shells of everything we ever dreamed we’d be could our means become our end when there’s nothing left to spend on everything we were never meant to be oh my god, it’s gone too far somebody just killed the color guard and painted all them white stripes red and blue there ain’t room for the truth no more look left and right, you’ll find one door just one road, and it leads to war what’s a man of peace to do could it be we’ve lost ourselves could it be we’re only shells of everything we ever dreamed we’d be could our means become our end when there’s nothing left to spend on everything we were never meant to be i’m in love with all that radiates of grace, and all that hesitates when called upon to live in hate of my fellow human being cause all men live in cages whether iron bars or wages but the wisdom of the ages is that freedom lives within could it be we’ve lost ourselves could it be we’re only shells of everything we ever dreamed we’d be could our means become our end when there’s nothing left to spend on everything we were never meant to be everything we were never meant to be

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released October 31, 2013

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Earnest Matthew Dallas, Texas

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